| ELEANOR: |
He'll sleep in the living room. On the hide-a-bed. |
| JAMIE: |
No way. That's...That's torture. |
| ELEANOR: | It's a perfectly good bed. |
| MARK: | I'm with Jamie on this one. That bed is murder on the back. |
| ELEANOR: | On your back. Moses has a different back. Who's to say he won't
have a perfectly nice sleep? |
| JAMIE: | I say. |
| ELEANOR: | It was a rhetorical question. |
| JAMIE: | Moses doesn't have a rhetorical back. |
| MARK: | Besides, there's the issue of privacy. |
| ELEANOR: | He'll have privacy. He'll have the whole living room to himself. |
| JAMIE: | Without doors. (Beat) No thank you. |
| MARK: | I read first thing in the morning. |
| ELEANOR: | You can still read. |
| MARK: | I read in the living room. |
| ELEANOR: | Read in the kitchen. |
| MARK: | I don't want to read in the kitchen. I like to sit on the couch. I like to sit on the couch when it's a couch and not a bed. |
| JAMIE: | The bed is brutal. |
| MARK: | Thank you. (To Eleanor) Moses is our guest. He'll stay in the guest room. |
| ELEANOR: | We don't have a guest room. |
| JAMIE: | He means the den. |
| ELEANOR: | The den is not a guest room. It's a den. There's no room to sleep in the den. |
| JAMIE: | There used to be room. When we had the hide-a-bed in there. |
| ELEANOR: | The hide-a-bed is here now. |
| MARK: | We can move the hide-a-bed back into the den. For as long as Moses is here. |
| ELEANOR: | Will you listen to yourself. You just finished telling me you like reading in the living room in the morning. You like sitting on a couch when it's a couch. |
| MARK: | We all have our routines, Eleanor. |
| ELEANOR: | How are you going to read your morning paper on the couch when the couch is a bed in the den? |
| MARK: | I'll read in the kitchen. |
| ELEANOR: | You don't like reading in the kitchen. |
| MARK: | I'll read in the kitchen if it means Moses can sleep in the den. |
| ELEANOR: | I don't want the couch in the den. That would mean a living room without a couch, which means it's no longer a living room. It's a... It's...I don't know what you'd call it. |
| JAMIE: | A family room. |
| ELEANOR: | The couch stays here. A living room is meant to be lived in. It's for the living. Moses is alive and well. He'll sleep here. |
| JAMIE: | Without any doors. |
| MARK: | Or privacy. |
| ELEANOR: | Don't assume he needs privacy. |
| JAMIE: | Oh, please. |
| ELEANOR: | I'm serious. |
| MARK: | Eleanor. |
| ELEANOR: | Families in Africa live - Granted, not all. I don't mean the capital cities and the large towns and the...The fact is, many families in Africa live together under one roof. It's a fact. When you have six, seven people living in one room...You've seen the pictures. There are no walls. There is no privacy. None. Not the way we know it. So don't assume that Moses shares your definition of privacy. |
| MARK: | Don't assume he doesn't. |
| JAMIE: | This room has no doors. |
| ELEANOR: | You've already made that point, Jamie. |
| JAMIE: | You can't have dignity without doors. |
| ELEANOR: | Oh, for goodness sake. |
| JAMIE: | It's true. |
| ELEANOR: | Honestly, sweetheart. You sound like a politician. "You can't have dignity without doors." It sounds like you're stumping for votes. |
| MARK: | I think what she's saying is that Moses has as much a right to walk around naked first thing in the morning as anyone else. |
| JAMIE: | Don't assume he shares your definition of naked. |
| ELEANOR: | You're getting nasty. |
| MARK: | Can we not reach a compromise? |
| ELEANOR: | Here's a compromise: he can sleep in Jamie's room. |
| JAMIE: | No way. |
| ELEANOR: | I rest my case. |
| MARK: | Jamie hates the hide-a-bed as much as I do. |
| JAMIE: | I really don't think he'd enjoy my room. |
| ELEANOR: | Clothes over every square inch of the floor. Rotting food beneath the bed. What's not to like? |
| JAMIE: | Look who's nasty. |
| ELEANOR: | We can clean up your room and make it presentable. You can sleep on the floor in the den. You do that all the time when you have your sleepovers. |
| JAMIE: | I don't want to give up my room. |
| MARK: | There's really no need. |
| ELEANOR: | Moses needs a bed to sleep on. We have a bed. The bed is in the living room. Moses will sleep in the living room. What could be simpler? |
| JAMIE: | (Pause) Stephen's room. |
|
Eleanor gives Jamie a withering look.
|
| ELEANOR: | That was uncalled for. |
|
Eleanor exits. The silence that sits between Jamie and Mark threatens to devour them.
|
| JAMIE: | Do you think I'm wrong? |
| MARK: | It's not that simple. |
| JAMIE: | How long is that room going to be off-limits? |
| MARK: | That's not for you or me to decide. |
| JAMIE: | Stephen's room has exactly what Moses needs. Privacy and a comfortable bed. |
| MARK: | Stephen's room doesn't have Stephen. |
| JAMIE: | Like I don't know that. |
| MARK: | It wouldn't be appropriate for Moses to use Stephen's room. Not under the circumstances. |
| JAMIE: | What's inappropriate, what's really fucked up is the way that room has become this...this temple. I'm surprised Mom doesn't light candles in there. |
| MARK: | Maybe she should. I should have...In Judaism, you're supposed to light a candle on the anniversary of a loved one's death. |
| JAMIE: | What does Judaism say about not allowing anyone to use a room that's been sitting empty for three years? |
| MARK: | There's nothing wrong with having a room where you can retreat. |
| JAMIE: | So now it's a retreat. We should all hum and burn incense. |
| MARK: | Spare me the attitude. |
| JAMIE: | It's not attitude. It's insane. |
| MARK: | It's not for you to decide how someone grieves. |
| JAMIE: | Mom's grieving gives me grief. |
| MARK: | Get used to it. |
| JAMIE: | I tried, right? It's not like when Stephen died I did this dance. We were all fucked up for a long time. But you can't- |
| MARK: | See, there's your problem right there. |
| JAMIE: | Oh, so I have a problem? (Beat) I'm not the one who feeds the turtle in the room of someone who's been dead for three years. |
| MARK: | He's not "someone". He's your brother. |
| JAMIE: | He was my brother. |
| MARK: | And he's dead. I know that. What you don't understand is that when a child dies it doesn't fuck you up for a long time. It fucks you up forever. |
| JAMIE: | So Stephen's room is off-limits forever? |
| MARK: | I didn't say that. |
| JAMIE: | When can we use it again? |
| MARK: | (Pause) I don't know. |
| JAMIE: | You tell Moses why he can't sleep in Stephen's room. |
| MARK: | I'm sure he'd understand. |
| JAMIE: | I'm sure he won't. He's too polite to say anything. (Beat) I hate making people feel they have to be polite. |
| MARK: | We're not pressuring Moses into feeling polite. If he's being polite it's because he is polite. (Beat) He's always been polite. |
| JAMIE: | Oh, please. |
| MARK: | You've read his letters. Polite from start to finish. |
| JAMIE: | Hello? Have you ever heard of not biting the hand that feeds you? |
| MARK: | Don't use that tone with me. |
| JAMIE: | You are, like, so ostrich. |
| MARK: | Ostrich? |
| JAMIE: | As in head-in-the-sand. |
| MARK: | That's a myth. Ostriches don't put their head in the sand. |
| JAMIE: | Screw the myth. Everyone believes it. (Beat) That's what you are. An ostrich. |
| MARK: | Thank you. |
| JAMIE: | You don't want to admit that Moses has no choice. He has to be polite. He can't say what he really feels because if he did, if he was really rude, we'd kick him out. We'd send him packing. He'd have nothing. Not even a backbreaking hide-a-bed to sleep on. |
| MARK: | We're not sending him anywhere. |
| JAMIE: | You would if he was rude. |
| MARK: | No. |
| JAMIE: | If he was really rude and swore his head off, it wouldn't last. |
| MARK: | It's not going to happen. |
| JAMIE: | If it did? |
| MARK: | If. If. I'm not going to speculate. |
| JAMIE: | If he raised hell, he wouldn't last. |
| MARK: | Did you hear what I just said? |
| JAMIE: | If he, say, took someone hostage. Like me. You wouldn't say, "Please release our daughter and, by the way, what would you like for dinner?" |
| MARK: | I see. Moses the Hostage Taker. |
| JAMIE: | Moses the Radical. |
| MARK: | Moses the Terrorist. |
| JAMIE: | Moses the Suicide Bomber. |
| MARK: | Moses the Anarchist. |
| JAMIE: | Moses the Piper. |
| MARK: | The Piper? |
| JAMIE: | The Pied Piper of Africa. He plays this flute or something, and he leads all the children, all these AIDS orphans, millions of them. They all follow Moses. |
| MARK: | And where does he take them? |
| JAMIE: | Not here. All we have is one lumpy bed. Two beds, but one is off-limits. |
| MARK: | You have a very vivid imagination. |
| JAMIE: | I have to go. |
| MARK: | Where? |
| JAMIE: | The bathroom. |
| MARK: | Moses is still taking a bath. |
| JAMIE: | I'll use yours. |
| MARK: | It's blocked. |
| JAMIE: | Since when? |
| MARK: | Since this morning. |
|
Jamie heads for the door.
|
| MARK: | Where are you going? |
| JAMIE: | Out. |
| MARK: | Out where? |
| JAMIE: | Out to pee. |
| MARK: | Jamie, get back here. |
| JAMIE: | I'm going to the backyard. |
| MARK: | You're not peeing in our backyard. |
| JAMIE: | It's good for the flowers. |
|
Jamie exits.
|
| MARK: | I don't care about the flowers. I'm thinking about the neighbours. |
| JAMIE: | (Off stage) I won't pee on the neighbours. |
| MARK: | Come back here. |
| JAMIE: | (Off stage) I really have to go. |
| MARK: | Jamie! |
|
Mark exits.
|
