All four characters remain on stage at all times. When a character exits he or she creates a corridor with the suitcases. The suitcases also turn into other elements in the fantasy vignettes. The setting and mood of Derailed is pure 1950s.
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Suitcases are stacked at the apex of the train tracks upstage centre. Two trunks are balanced on a wood platform down stage. One light is beaming along the tracks.
Victor, the conductor, slowly walks down the tracks with a stopwatch in his hand counting down the seconds. He snaps the watch closed.
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| VICTOR: | All aboard! Last call! Watch your step. Watch your luggage. All aboard. |
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He begins to set up the train compartment arranging first the trunks as compartment seats.
Victor exits upstage.
MUSIC
Brenda enters with music, head in purse, looking through the purse and pulls out a shoe. She spits on the shoe and urgently begins polishing. The shoe takes on a dance as she ends up chasing it to complete the polishing. She jumps over the tracks and continues polishing.
Victor enters again and continues to set up the train using the suitcases to define the corridors.
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| VICTOR: | All aboard! Last call! Once we roll, we won't look back. This train runs on time. If you're not satisfied, we'll refund the scenery. All aboard! |
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Victor exits upstage.
Anya enters, adding figures on a large adding machine in a business-like manner. Her leg begins to wander out from her body. She quickly pulls herself together by pulling her leg sharply back in place. This continues and the pace accelerates until the force of this action pulls her up and over the tracks, where she continues adding figures.
Victor enters with suitcases, placing them along the tracks.
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| VICTOR: | All aboard! Women and children first. Washrooms in the rear. We still can't find the engineer. Have no fear, 'cause Victor's here. All aboard! |
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Victor exits upstage.
George enters with a kitchen blender in his hand. His pockets are stuffed with shredded paper. He furtively looks around and then takes the paper out of his pockets and places it in the blender. He turns the blender on.
Victor enters with more suitcases. George, Brenda and Anya start running on the spot as they continue their actions throughout Victor's next speech.
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| VICTOR: | All aboard! Last call! Tickets ready. No standing in the aisles. No running between cars. No singing on the roof. Last call! All aboard! |
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Victor exits.
George, Brenda and Anya stop. Simultaneously, they each discover a shredded paper: Brenda discovers one in the shoe she is holding, Anya finds one in her dress and George pulls one from the blender. All three look at it and drop it on the floor. They look out at the audience.
BLACKOUT. SOUND OF TRAIN.
LIGHTS UP ON THE TRAIN COMPARTMENT.
Brenda and George have just arrived and are settling in. The opening of this scene is a rhythmic interchange between Brenda and George. Brenda stakes out their territory by setting out their belongings as George scours a newspaper.
Victor is seated in the corner on a suitcase reading a book.
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| BRENDA: | I brought slippers. (George turns a page) Ear plugs. Clippers. (Sprays air freshener) Pine. |
| GEORGE: | Fine. |
| BRENDA: |
New blades. Faberge. Lucky Strike. |
| GEORGE: |
Right. |
| BRENDA: |
Tissues. Mints. LIFE. |
| GEORGE: |
Christ! (Quickly folds newspaper and puts it away) |
| BRENDA: |
Are you mentioned in the paper?
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| GEORGE: |
No. |
| BRENDA: |
Not yet. You will be. It's an important award, sweetheart. A special occasion. (Takes out her camera and begins to take pictures of George)
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| GEORGE: |
It's not the Nobel Prize. And I don't want my picture taken. You don't need a picture. I'm right here. In the flesh.
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| BRENDA: |
I brought my red dress. Heads will turn. Tongues will wag.
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| GEORGE: |
Let's not talk about the awards. There will be plenty of time for that. Now it's just you and me.
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| BRENDA: |
I want to cover every inch of your body. Then put it back together again, piece by piece. (Continues to snap pictures) |
| GEORGE: |
Brenda, please.
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| BRENDA: |
Train trips are so romantic.
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| GEORGE: |
I'm all yours. (takes the camera and puts it away, kneels down in front of Brenda) No steering. (Reaches for Brenda seductively and then unlocks one of the latches on the trunk)
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| BRENDA: |
No maps. |
| GEORGE: |
No traffic. (Unlocks the other latch on trunk)
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| BRENDA: |
You can keep your eyes on me instead of the road.
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| GEORGE: |
We can take in the scenery together.
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George picks up Brenda seductively while trying to hide the newspaper in the trunk. Brenda is straddling George and kissing him. George gets the newspaper in the trunk when Anya enters. George's back is to the entrance. Brenda sees Anya.
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| GEORGE: |
Ow! (Hits finger on trunk)
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| ANYA: |
Oh! |
| BRENDA: |
Oh... |
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Anya exits to corridor. Throughout the next scene she pulls out her makeup mirror and checks out her body from top to bottom before getting the conductor.
George, still on his knees, pulls out his hand and sucks on his finger.
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| GEORGE: |
Who was that? |
| BRENDA: |
I don't know. A woman. How's your /finger?
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| GEORGE: |
What woman? Who? |
| BRENDA: |
I don't know. Show me your finger.
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| GEORGE: |
(Obvious pain) My finger's fine.
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| BRENDA: |
I have something for it.
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| GEORGE: |
I don't want anything.
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| BRENDA: |
A first aid travel kit. |
| GEORGE: |
I don't need first aid.
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| BRENDA: |
You never know what can happen on a trip. (Opens kit) Band aids. Band aids. Band aids. Would a band aid help?
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| GEORGE: |
I'm fine. |
| BRENDA: |
Let me see it. |
| GEORGE: |
No. |
| BRENDA: |
A quick look. |
| GEORGE: |
No. |
| BRENDA: |
I'll be careful. |
| GEORGE: |
No. |
| BRENDA: |
I won't touch it. |
| GEORGE: |
No. |
| BRENDA: |
I hate to see you in pain. |
| GEORGE: |
I'm not. |
| BRENDA: |
You don't look well. |
| GEORGE: |
I am. |
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Brenda is on her knees, kissing George's finger. Anya returns with Victor, who is carrying her ticket. They see Brenda and George and hesitate for a moment before Anya enters the compartment. George tries to block her entrance. Their physical encounter inadvertently turns into a dance.
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| VICTOR: |
Sorry no dancing in the compartment. |
| GEORGE: |
This car is full. |
| VICTOR: |
I beg your pardon? |
| ANYA: |
I was expecting... |
| VICTOR: |
...the very best. You'll be happy here. |
| BRENDA: |
We weren't expecting... |
| GEORGE: |
We're full. Not an inch to spare. |
| VICTOR: |
This passenger has a ticket. |
| GEORGE: |
Victor, someone has made a mistake. You'll take care of it. (He tips him) |
| VICTOR: |
I don't book seats, Mr. Cummings. I seat passengers. |
| BRENDA: |
My husband.... |
| VICTOR: |
...knows the rules. |
| BRENDA: |
...needs ice. |
| GEORGE: |
I am not a child. I don't need ice. |
| ANYA: |
This is a very nice compartment. Thank you. (Gives Victor a tip and takes George's seat) |
| GEORGE: |
That's my seat. |
| VICTOR: |
By journey's end, you'll all be friends. That's the beautiful thing about train travel. (Takes Anya's ticket) Miss Raum... |
| ANYA: |
Rumkowski. |
| VICTOR: |
I would have gotten it. I've seen worse. Miss Rumkowski, meet Mr. and Mrs. Cummings. |
| B/A/G: |
Hello/Hello/Hello |
| VICTOR: |
I'll get you your ice. |
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Victor exits.
They watch Victor exit. They turn, face each other, inhale, smile, and turn to look out the window. Each drops the smile on their face and reveals what they are really thinking.
TRAIN SOUND AND BLACKOUT AS THEY ENTER A TUNNEL
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| BRENDA: |
Oh! |
| ANYA: |
Ah! |
| GEORGE: |
Ow! |
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LIGHTS UP
George has fallen on top of Anya. Anya's hat and purse have fallen to the ground.
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| ANYA: |
Get off. |
| GEORGE: |
Excuse me. |
| BRENDA: |
Are you all right? |
| ANYA: |
(To George) Give me my hat. |
| BRENDA: |
(Picks up purse) I'm sorry. |
| ANYA: |
It happens. |
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Pause.
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| BRENDA: |
This is my husband, George. I'm Brenda.
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| ANYA: |
Anya Rumkowski. |
| BRENDA: |
Rumkowski isn't a very common name. |
| ANYA: |
In this country. |
| BRENDA: |
George is off to accept an award. |
| ANYA: |
Then I'm not interrupting a romantic weekend.
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| BRENDA: |
Oh, no. We're married. Parkview Children's Hospital is honouring my husband. He's donated a lot of money.
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| GEORGE: |
I'm accepting the award on the company's behalf, that's all.
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| BRENDA: |
Sweetheart, you are the company.
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| GEORGE: |
The award isn't in my name.
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| BRENDA: |
It should be. (Pause) Where are you going?
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| ANYA: |
My lover sent me this ticket. He's going to meet me on the train at some point.
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| BRENDA: |
How mysterious.
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| ANYA: |
I'm not sure where he's taking me.
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| BRENDA: |
You travel blindly?
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| ANYA: |
It's exciting not to know where you're going.
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| BRENDA: |
Isn't that romantic, George?
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| GEORGE: |
Only if you like mysteries.
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| BRENDA: |
George loves to tease me. Sweetheart, did you bring any chocolates?
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| GEORGE: |
(Takes out a small box from his jacket) Your favourite.
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| BRENDA: |
These are no good.
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| GEORGE: |
I bought them today.
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| BRENDA: |
This is the wrong brand.
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| GEORGE: |
They didn't have Durocher chocolates.
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| BRENDA: |
Durocher is the only kind I can eat.
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| GEORGE: |
Try one. |
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Brenda shakes her head.
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| GEORGE: |
Just one. |
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Brenda shakes her head again. George tries to get her to eat one in ways that are very playful and sexual.
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| BRENDA: |
Would you like one? |
| ANYA: |
No thank you. Excuse me. |
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Anya takes a cigarette case out of her purse and exits down a corridor.
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| BRENDA: |
She looks familiar. |
| GEORGE: |
I've never seen her before. |
| BRENDA: |
I have. Somewhere. |
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George steps out. |
| BRENDA: |
Where are you going? |
| GEORGE: |
The washroom. My hand. |
| BRENDA: |
The conductor is bringing ice. |
| GEORGE: |
I don't need the conductor. |
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Anya is in the corridor and takes out a cigarette.
George is in a corridor on the other side of the compartment.
Brenda is tidying the compartment, resisting the temptation to look through Anya's purse. Victor walks in, holding a compress.
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| VICTOR: |
Where's the patient? |
| BRENDA: |
Patient, he's not. |
| VICTOR: |
A nervous traveller. |
| BRENDA: |
I've never seen him like this. He seems preoccupied. |
| VICTOR: |
Your husband's a busy man. |
| BRENDA: |
Very busy. He's a company man, only he never keeps me company. |
| VICTOR: |
You're lucky to have him. The other ones, they always seem to forget the wives they've left behind. Not him. Always buying you gifts. Classy boxes. Your husband has excellent taste. I can't imagine how much he paid for those pearl earrings. |
| BRENDA: |
(Pause) Neither can I. |
| VICTOR: |
He's always thinking of you. |
| BRENDA: |
He's a wonderful provider. We have a brand new washer and dryer. |
| VICTOR: |
Congratulations. |
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George crouches past the compartment to get to Anya on the other side. He comes up behind her.
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| GEORGE: |
Anya.
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| ANYA: |
Rumkowski.
|
| GEORGE: |
Anya Rumkowski. |
| ANYA: |
Yes. |
